First Line of Defense – Choosing Bridesmaids, Ushers, Groomsmen & Attendants

Here it is, a question that requires the shrewdness of a senator, the diplomacy of a consulate, and the skill of a general. Who amongst your friends, relatives and siblings will be standing by your side and assisting with the ceremonies at your wedding?

Choosing your maid of honor and best man may have been easy and obvious, but the next level of attendants requires a lot of thought.

Here are some ways to help you choose:

First decide how many attendants you need/can afford. The average rule is one attendant for 50 guests. Asymmetric number of bridesmaids to groomsmen is not common, but certainly not a taboo.

Draw up a list of potentials. Include the ones you want to be in it, and the one who have been hinting their availability.

Subtly make sure they are ready and able to help you in their chosen capacity at the wedding. You may realize your first choice is going to be 8 month pregnant at your wedding or that someone else is just no good under pressure.

Shortlist and enquire. Has anyone done this before? Do you want to draw on that experience or give someone else a chance?

There will be a few amongst your close friends and relatives who just want to enjoy themselves. Find out who would not be interested and narrow your list down.

That shortlist is looking shorter now, right? No issues, start assigning roles and make sure all those chosen are thoroughly aware of what you expect of them. Use this opportunity to consider if you’ve made the right decision or need to switch. Yes, you can do it, just be diplomatic, and think musical chairs.

KEEP SUBSTITUTES! Very important. People fall sick or cancel for a variety of reasons all the time. Just like an understudy in a play, you need a few backups in case of emergency. (Look to that list who just wanted to enjoy themselves.)

If you don’t have roles and too many people, create a few jobs. Candle-bearers, program distributor, assistants, can all be given to the younger folk to get them involved.

Image Credit: divemasterking2000